Try masturbating less frequently and use a minimal amount of pressure. This will increase the sensitivty in your penis and help you to reach orgasm when you do have sex.
maybe I will be able to let myself go and feel truly safe
milking the prostate, finger in bum I think...
Don't push him or talk about it before sex, it will make him nervous and/or upset then he will never be able to come inside you.
With patience and understanding you can work things out toghether
comfortable and relaxed
just performance anxiety, combining masturbation and sex, telling her your dirtiest fantasy...
alchohol drug use fear guilt low self esteem performance anxiety
What is the answer? Why don't you tell me? What does it feel like?
present in the moment
Enjoy this pleasure, this is not homework
focus on the pleasure you do feel
The Masterplan
We are all part of the masterplan
shit loads has happened since I was last here. The last time I blogged I was in New York. Well Anna and I are no more and I am quite happy about it. Again a good looking girl who was cool but I just was not into. I need to stop dating girls I am not truely into as it never lasts and is not fair on me or them.
Interesting I told her the truth the whole goddam truth about my performance anxiety and she initially seemed cool then two days later she delivered this biting stinging attack having a go at everything I did in the bedroom. On what would have been my mum's birthday. She left nothing out and just kept on going. From there things were never the same again. I do feel she is a little immature and found it hard to take what I had told her. I was honest and myself and she didn't like that so fuck her.
I think she felt slighted and hurt which is a fucking stupid and immature reaction I feel as it is nothing to do with her just anxiety generally, hence telling her to avoid the anxiety. All I was looking for was understanding so that if the ED cropped up she would know what was what and it would enable me to relax with her and enjoy being with her and not being so tense.
I thought you were supposed to be honest with people however it does not seem to be the case that honesty is necessarily the best policy. What had annoyed me a little was that I had stopped using the cialisis and was just natural with her and was confident and fine. She also came ridiculously quickly where I take ages. and bizarely struggled to come inside her. Not sure why that is, going to Google it in a minute and see whether I can find any information.
Funk it I think it is something I will search on now. Other than that she was cool, fun to hang out with and talk too. However the immature reaction has scared me a little. I don't think I will be so honest with the next girls. I honestly didn't write girls then it appeared. It has also ruined my confidence a little bit which I think is quite easy to regain. Confidence especially sexual confidence is a funny thing for me and can either be quite high or quite low which has a knock on effect on everything else.
She also questioned my manhood the fucking bitch. blah blah blah about wantting to be with someone who took control and made decisions blah blah blah. Maybe I don't always do this and it is something for me to look at. However I feel I do to an extent and there were situations after her first blow up that left me walking on eggshells for the remainder of our time as I never knew when the next one was going to come. It could be over something uber small like how I was driving or where I was standing. It got to the point where I was scared to do anything in case it created a painful tension.
One plus is the experience made me see how relatively mature I am. Yes I have my ups and downs however I am on a fairly even keel. I am to an extent working towards a master plan. The plan you could argue has taken a bit of a back seat this year after my mum. I didn't realise that was the case until speaking to Paul the other day made me realise I have done nothing all year and barely taken any holiday off. I constantly look back at the trips to Byron etc and there is no reason why I can't do more of them.
I think I have to be a little more selfish and do my own thing. I know what I like and what I don't like. Saturday the party was good however the x was terrible. I am never going back there again.
I also have a place which has been done up a lot more now and is almost unrecognisable. Thanks to Anna although in true style I was the one who paid for everything although it was needed and it is nice to know everything is brought and paid for. Also it is really good to head home. I also now have a cleaner on Anna's recommendation.
Golf is a struggle at the moment. I think I am going to do those lesson's with Anton. It will be good and I will be able to take my game to the next level. At times it feels like I am going backwards.
I am going to cut down on the booze. Chrimbo party season is coming up which means I will be out more for work do's however I will not be spending my own money on booze which will allow me to stay in more and hopefully save some money along with working on the information for my PR.
Need to get my lights up soon. Almost the finishing touches to my place, decided against the new imac. I want a macbook pro which I can buy a second 27' screen which I can watch foxtel through in time for the world cup. I also want to buy an old school Volvo Station Wagon. oh yeah
I am so tired of being hung over and going out drinking when I don't want to or pushing myself too hard ie surfing and golf in the same day is not going to happen. They both take too much out of me and if that is because I am getting old then so be it.
I hope my dad is OK, he sounded strange on the phone when I spoke to him and wanted me to confirm I would be calling next week which I did. I am going to phone him tonight, I pray I can get flights home for Christmas sorted out. I expect to be able to do so. Only time you can take a semi decent holiday and not kane annual leave. I want to use my annual leave next year to explore and go on trips, New Zealand, Vietnam and maybe South Africa.
I think even on Saturday I could have stayed in after golf. At least gone home after the party not stayed out all night. I want to show Paul a good time however if I take him to places I hate he is not going to have fun as I am hating it. I think the places I will go to as I want to go there he will enjoy anyway. Have to make decisions
Time waits for no one, hesitate if you want and get caught out late.
Work is OK, interesting times, 3 clients leave in a very short space of time. Very interesting but I don't care. I did what I could and so be it. Four if you include the other one.
Catch 22 is scarey, I didn't understand it at first then realised that Catch 22 is the working world on an extreme level. It is all bullshit and run by incompetence. Unfortunately that is the way it is and the only way to do something for you is to work for you. May not necessarily incompetence more a case of everyone looking out for themselves and looking to appear/be successful. Do I want a part, I would rather work 23 hours a day for my own business where I take out what I put in.
Not long to go until I am hopefully in a position where I don't need a job to stay in the country or pay off my debts
Freedom, what do we want, freedom, when do we want it, now!
Yeah work, same old same old. My only motivation is to stay long enough to get what I want then move on. two years today I have been there I think. My second longest after the death star. I have another year and a month before I match the death star. I might do as it will allow me to study externally. I must focus on my opportunity. The masterplan which I feel has gone a little by the wayside in recent months, in fact over the last year. It is hard to see where the year has gone. It has been a long one, a little bit of a blur really. I am really keen to knock the booze on the head if possible. At the very least cut down and only go out and do things when I want to do them. Stick to the original plan, sometimes it is hard with a mate over. Sunday could have been a better day over in Manly at the Wharf Bar but I wil never know...
It feels like it is just me against the world with nothing to lose. Maybe it is to an extent. Sometimes I feel a bit of a failure. I look at my friends with good jobs married and with families and there is me, just me against the world. I never am truly happy when people annouce children weddings on FB. I always feel a little bit of envy.
Today I really beat myself up thinking about my family situation and how it is easier for other people who have come from different types of families and how my family were. Is that an excuse, to an extent all families are psychotic. Why has the ED affected me, it is like a curse, late developer starting at 21, why such a late developer, already in my head as I had spent nights with girls barely knowing one end of my cock from the other let alone what to do with it. Then there is the hairy anna incident as a young teen in my early teens, coupled with an attraction for older women it has all become a bit of a kerfuffle. I think the older woman attraction may be a fear of rejection which could take me all the way back, however it is also a bit of a safety thing maybe, if the ED kicks in it is less likely to matter maybe. However I think it is just a thing which I along with millions of other men are into. Looking at adult sites, purely for research of course one of the biggest if not the biggest section is the mature milf section. Supply and demand is the deciding factor here.
I think people who find someone they truely love, and get married to are the luckiest people in the world. To be able to meet someone like that must be awesome. I don't think you ever find what you are looking for. I don't think you need to go looking for it. According to Kemp what am I looking for, I could travel the whole world and never find what I am looking for. In fact I never will find what I am looking for.
All I have to do and it sounds very easy is be myself be true to me, keep in contact and maintain the love and support of my family for me and me for my family. Similar thing to a lesser extent with friends, true friends and whatever will be will be.
I have the 20mg and have a strategy to avoiding the performance anxiety brought on by condoms. Yes it is important to say Yes more, not to all things but to thing which are important, the things that matter.
I wonder whether I will still be blogging asking these questions. I feel like here I have almost got myself into another rut, similar to London but to a lesser extent. I like things that others don't like and that my friend is the way it is.
Drinking all day and going to shit bars and clubs isn't my idea of fun. I like a few drinks and like doing stuff however I don't think that is for me. I think it comes across as well so I am in a catch 22 situation. I am somewhere I don't want to be whilst trying to pick up, hence not wanting to be there is giving off bad signals which is restricting my ability to pick up. ha ha ha that shit is almost funny. In fact I think it is.
Crawling, I am itching to go crawling however know it is not the right thing to do. However a man can take only so much. Maybe see what happens, Paul may be interested in a few drinks over that way, maybe Dan, or secret squirrell, don't think it does my confidence any good however sexual frustation is no fun. Must bear in mind that no one knows what is coming and the frustration may not be necessary as long as I am doing the right thing.
Paul being here is cool, I need to cheer up a bit and do the things I would be doing if he wasn't here which he would enjoy.
If loving the lord is wrong I don't want to be right.
I hope my ankle clears up soon. I should stop training on it and get some physio
Peace
God Loves his children
Paranoid Android, today was a paranoid day, JR in and out of J's office. Interviewing and offering a new SM, for what. Wouldn't trust that cunt as far as I could throw him.
I am never going to get on there but can't leave, trapped. However it could be worse, it can always be worse however some times it does get to you.
Only one more week until New York and a well deserved break, although small a break none the less followed by Boomerang Beach. Hopefully I will be recharged and ready for the next episode when I am back.
Need to sort out my taxes so I can book my flights home for Christmas. Social Media, wot a croc of old shite, everyone has nothing to say, including me. FB is the worst with the world now having its own voice. I have decided to develop my own FB app
Out
I am a college student who has no difficulty achieving an erection. However, when I put on a condom, I almost instantaneously lose the erection.
Let me preface this response by stating that everyone should have medical problems ruled out by a medical doctor when they are concerned about symptoms and physical health.
That said, it sounds like you probably do not suffer from impotence if your loss of erection is only limited to the moment when you put on a condom. If you have no trouble achieving and maintaining erections at other times (spontaneously, masturbating, oral sex, mutual masturbation, etc), then something else might be going on.
Losing an erection when putting on a condom is something that happens among men, probably more commonly than you think. One explanation for erection loss could simply be the process of having to change one's focus from the emotional excitement of sex to a more cognitive, rational process of safer sex. Let's face it, condoms aren't the most pleasant things and can remind us of infections and illness. Condoms reduce sensation and can be awkward to use.
After you lose your erection the first time, anxiety can mount and further exacerbate the problem, sometimes referred to as "performance anxiety." Simply anticipating putting on a condom can cause someone to lose their erection. Resistance to condom use can arise from previous experiences of erection loss when wearing a condom. To some guys, the shame and embarassment experienced by losing an erection is much worse than having unprotected sex and not losing an erection. Some guys may even think that there is something wrong with them.
There are ways to approach the situation. Try to remember that condom use is not instinctual; it is a learned skill. One suggestion is to attempt to masturbate privately with a condom on. When you are alone and in the mood, try getting an erection and putting the condom on your penis. Take your time, relax, and be patient. Try imagining yourself using the condom with your partner. Eventually you could get to a point where you can maintain an erection or ejaculate inside of the condom while masturbating.
At this point, think about integrating your condom use into the sexual activity with your partner, as opposed to making it a separate act. Maybe your partner could put the condom on for you. You could also try putting the condom on during foreplay and then continue with foreplay for a bit. If you lose your erection, toss the condom, relax, fool around a bit more, and try again if you want. Remember that there are other things you can do besides intercourse/fucking that can be pleasurable and fun. The more pressure you put on yourself to be a rock hard stud, the greater your chances are of having anxiety and losing your erection.
RMK
