offthebeetontrack

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way

2012-02-13T11:52:00.001Z

Good habits

2012-01-13T08:58:00.002Z

Good habits are like a muscle, the more you do them the stronger they become

I know what you did last summer

2012-01-06T12:27:00.003Z

Web Design Course
Recruiter
Branding Questionnaire
Citizenship
Bev
Doctor

Merry New Year

2012-01-06T12:27:00.001Z

Swim
Dollars
Brand

New Year

2011-12-04T09:25:00.001Z

Things that must go

blue
decision

crawling can be done until June.

From then on that goes

No Blue between now and the new year will make the decision easier, it is going to be tough however will be made easier by the no blue element

There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path

G Funk Era

2011-11-15T12:11:00.001Z

K Dawg
Crawl to weed it out of me
NYC

The Right Thing where I can

Maintain the Masterplan

The Masterplan

2011-10-20T12:20:00.001Z

The Masterplan

It will be lright my friend it will be just fine again

2011-10-01T08:55:00.000Z

I feel terrible

This weekend was supposed to show me what I would be missing co habitation. I am looking forward to co habitation

I have been crawling and observing blue and both make me feel completely retched. I don't think I could look myself in the mirror when I shave.

Although I will say I think I may be settling too early. Talking to T last night was an eye opener. I don't think I will marry and have children however I am happy to co habit ate.

I am missing special K. I hope she is cool with my thoughts, we haven't began co habitation yet so have no idea how things will pan out.

This last weekend is bullshit. I think I will surf tomorrow morning then run on Monday and go to the range. Crawling and Blue are goneski, I know the drill. I have the list, I know what it does or doesn't do for me.

I thought I knew what I wanted however it turns out I do not at all. I am happy with co habitating however feel that is as far as it will go.

Unfortunately with being a late starter for me 40 is the new 30. My major worry is leading special K along especially as her friends are beginning to get married and have children. There is also the biological clock and I do have a tendency to dream and discuss the future at times, however discussing the future is a normal part of any relationship.

Who knows man, who knows what will happen and how we will feel...

Without the lessons of history, you are doomed to make the same mistakes

2011-09-13T09:08:00.000Z

Dad's Wisdom

2011-09-02T13:43:00.001Z

Everyone is responsible for there own spiritual well being

Happiness

2011-08-19T09:21:00.001Z

“Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.

Modern Man

2011-08-17T12:31:00.002Z

The Final forming of a person's character comes from within - Anne Frank

Stay away from Blue and Crawl and you are there

That is what must come from within

London's Burning

2011-08-10T11:06:00.001Z

the price of freedom is eternal vigilance - stay alert people and hold em to account!!

New Job

2011-08-10T10:10:00.003Z

"Remember, you and only you are the captain of your ship. So, take charge of your life, watch the winds, re-position your sails and sail forth..."

Live the moment - always living in the future can slow us down as much as looking behind.

An end has a start

2011-07-26T12:25:00.002Z

Last day tomorrow

How do I feel?

Looking forward to it being over so I can draw a line in the sand and move on

The leaving do should be interesting, it is always interesting to see who makes an appearance and who doesn't make an appearance.

1 thing fo sure-keep doing what the funk you do, be yourself and just stay true.

I do what I duz cuz, I do what I duz

The umbilical cord is cut

Wherever you take yourself in this world, you've got to take yourself with you,

2011-07-25T13:10:00.001Z

Always look on the bright side of life

2011-07-23T01:57:00.000Z

Porn List

2011-07-15T13:59:00.003Z

List as to why the blue has to go

Tomorrow Is Another Day

Who are you then?

bad things happen to loved ones and family through Karma
bad things happen to me through Karma
Affiliate site
contact with friends
contact with family
negative affect on relationship
distorts view of women
possible leads to ED
The one
confidence and self worth/esteem negatively affected - vital at work and in life
Masterplan neglect
Remember the awesome Kangaroo Valley feeling
There is more to life than just existence
Poor use of time and stops you doing other things such as hobbies and sports
takes so long, approximately 2 hours versus approximately 10/20 minutes
so much better Karma when not using, seem to have more "luck"
What would your mum think of this waste of life and time?
You are the one in the family that can make the difference, you have to lead by example
Whether it is seen or not, lead, do the right thing and you will be sweet
there is an element of sadness to it and you
Lizard part of the brain, the easy option, the quick fix. Fight the Lizard with the resistance...
You are always welcome to have a tug

You are better than that!!!!!!!

How to Avoid Pornography - wikiHow

2011-07-15T12:12:00.000Z

How to Avoid Pornography - wikiHow

Nothing Lasts Forever

2011-07-03T11:04:00.002Z

Just had a touch, interesting! Don't think I will do that again. I hope not also I hope I am finally becoming bored.

Unfortunately I do know what I have to do however I feel at the moment it is not the right time as I am happy.

However the time will come unfortunately. I must ensure I do the right thing at the right time. However who knows, who really knows? I think I know enough unfortunately.

I am not the same since. I have grown and will never be the same again. I am quite happy about that I also feel I have matured and learned so much about myself and about other people/person as well.

I know what I want

I know what I need to do and the initial sacrifice I have to make

July 06 is a million miles away from July 11. The interesting thing is you are always living, always learning

Day by Day it is how we are living

Make the Most Brett Dennen

2011-07-03T10:33:00.001Z

Put It On Bob Marley

2011-06-27T13:18:00.001Z

When you listen, you hear what is being said. When you understand, you hear what is not being said...

2011-06-27T13:16:00.000Z

The Don't Quit Poem

2011-06-27T11:42:00.001Z

Make The Most of This Life

2011-06-10T10:07:00.002Z

Make The Most of This Life Brett Dennen

2011-06-10T10:07:00.001Z

There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path

2011-05-29T02:53:00.000Z

Decisions

2011-05-29T02:29:00.001Z

You should only take decisions when you are fit and strong

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."

2011-05-21T08:20:00.001Z

To crawl or not to crawl that is the question. Tonight I have the opportunity to and I am so tempted.

I just don't know what to do

Should I look at Blue?

Should I do nothing, touch and go to sleep??? a possible solution and unfortunately the right solution

Bad to the bone

2011-04-12T12:21:00.002Z

The overcome tat maybe not as I do not want to be negative and include my situation on me. However as I write this it does have a wider meaning.

I have come so far compared to where I was. Everything has changed as I have become older, wiser and more mature. Also a clear heeed helps.

I don't know what to do about mullah and home. Do I go down the tough love route? It is every month without fail. Sis needs to get a second job and dad needs to get out more, or move to Old House where everything is done for him which would suit him.

Tough love is required

Pay it Forward

2011-04-10T10:55:00.001Z

Three big acts for nothing in return other than the person pays it forward

Everybody makes mistakes

Tattoo

2011-04-10T08:21:00.002Z

"The first and the best victory is to conquer self."

Plato

"We acquire the strength we have overcome."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

"First we form habits, then they form us. Conquer your bad habits or they will conquer you."

2011-04-10T05:01:00.001Z

Rob Gilbert

Unless you change how you are,you will always have what you've got.

2011-04-10T04:59:00.000Z

Jim Rohn

"The first and the best victory is to conquer self."

2011-04-10T04:52:00.001Z

Plato

I like this one

"It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons,

2011-04-10T04:46:00.000Z

Buddha

If you would live your life with ease; do what you ought, not what you please

2011-04-10T04:45:00.002Z

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will."

2011-04-10T04:45:00.001Z

Vince Lombardi

You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

2011-04-10T04:36:00.000Z

Draw Your Swords

2011-04-10T04:34:00.002Z

"There is [a] spiritual strength derived from the subjecting of the physical appetite to the will of the individual. "He who reigns within himself and rules passions, desires, and fears is more than king." If there were no other virtues in fasting but gaining strength of character, that alone would be sufficient justification for its universal acceptance."

David McKay

"It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires great strength to decide on what to do."

2011-04-10T04:30:00.001Z

Elbert Hubbard

"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within."

2011-04-10T04:25:00.001Z

Anonymous

"Our real problem, then, is not our strength today; it is rather the vital necessity of action today to ensure our strength tomorrow."

2011-04-10T04:23:00.001Z

Dwight D Eisenhower

"We acquire the strength we have overcome."

2011-04-10T04:15:00.000Z

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Relapsed

2011-04-10T03:56:00.002Z

Just relapsed again. The frustration is killing me. This is why I have to do the right thing long term. It is possible the frustration is mutual.

I can't think how I can get out of this, surely a non blue touch is required when I have a heavy urge then see how I feel after that...

This mental challenge is one of the hardest I have faced however I have faced harder before.

Fight the power

Maybe it is harder because other people are involved?

Either way fight the power and let's get this bullshit nailed

You have overcome before

We shall overcome

Take The Power Back

2011-04-05T11:05:00.003Z

Every relapse I have provides Yeltsin with additional material.

Take the Power Back, any relapse hands the advantage to Yeltsin

The better behaved I am the more in control I am. The more fortunate I am the closer I get to the end goal.

End Game In Mind

The Squared Circle

2011-04-04T11:37:00.002Z

18 years ago tonight I walked into the squared circle and it changed my life. Tonight I walked back into the squared circle.

I was bouncing off the walls and didn't know what to do. About Work and Love, according to Freud the two most important things and I happen to agree. Not that I am in any place to disagree.

Friday night was terrible. The Crawl and Blue were scary, even into Saturday. I don't think I have ever been quite like that before. It was a little scary. I have never been quite like that.

I still do not feel quite right, it will take me a while to recover. I hope I can recover sooner rather than later. However this is obviously something I have to work out however I am not sure of the best way... It is a mystery to me.

Do I crawl? I am pretty sure the blue is out.

I am going to get a tat. I need to be making the right decisions and it seems most times I do however at the moment I am not, well on Friday I did not. It was almost like I was possessed. However that could be an excuse for doing what you want and not taking responsibility.

I managed to beat marijuana so I am sure I can beat this. Do I feed it for a little while? I think the blue is out however not sure about the crawl, is it something I need to do and get out of my system?

I don't want to feel wretched

I feel I am not committing to the master plan as I should be. I never have time as I have to much going on socially. Something has to give as it is too much for me. I need to focus on the masterplan. Let's face it crawling is almost organised regimented scheduled action Jackson. No alcohol or drugs need to be involved and it means I can be up and about the next day working on the plan. We shall see. There is nothing illegal about it in any way shape or form. Just a little seedy. People do a lot worse, must also remember my history.

I need to concentrate on the present and now. Action must be taken. I have one more year before I am no longer young and move into the 35-49 demo graph.

No crawling can be done while in current position, period.

Man shapes himself through decisions that shape his environment.

2011-04-04T11:34:00.001Z

Rene Dubos

I Love Cake

2011-03-28T10:07:00.002Z

So here is the thing. I stay of the blue and crawl and dad stays of the ciggies and my sister and nephew are good.

I don't understand why this works however I know it will do.

Every action has a reaction. Karma

When doing the right thing good things will inevitably happen. I would like to crawl again. However not just yet unfortunately, not just yet.

If you stay from crawling the quality will by far and away out strip the quantity.

Jodes in the house

How beautiful is young Phoebe! Thank Crunchie she looks like her mum :-)

Strange how the simplest things can be the hardest to do. I feel I haven't worked much on the master plan recently.

I am struggling to get through the days. Maybe I will do some work to make sure the time goes quicker.

Strange Yeltsin is looking for destruction, cunt wants to watch his back! I have all I need and more.

Interesting how I felt debt free would be a huge thing. It just feels like the same, however I don't really notice the difference. The challenge is ensuring the family have enough money as at the moment it is a struggle to support them each month. I am struggling to save and crack on. Need to implement the masterplan.

Feels like I keep talking about the masterplan. Tough to get motivated at times I tell thee.

Let's do the right thing and see what happens. If loving the lord is right I don't want to be wrong

You are the only one! You are the only one

Rudyard Kipling - Not the Cake guy

2011-03-28T07:48:00.000Z

'If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too: If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, or, being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated don't give way to hating, and yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise … Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And – which is more – you'll be a Man, my son!'

There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path

2011-03-23T11:43:00.000Z

Morpheus

I failed my way to success

2011-03-23T11:42:00.000Z

Thomas Edison

First, they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win

2011-03-23T11:41:00.000Z

Gandhi

Security

2011-03-19T16:31:00.002Z

It is just a security thing

Is watching blue that wrong?

Want to be careful of denying myself and being too hard on myself

There will be an answer

2011-03-18T08:53:00.001Z

Send both

The first goes Monday the second goes the following Monday

Done

Cunt!

Oh My God I can't Believe it I have never been this far away from home

2011-03-14T06:17:00.003Z

This too shall pass

Need to get the email together and sent out bearing in mind desired outcome. I hope we can put this together.

A few years ago a day like today would have been a perfect day for getting stoned. Interesting very interesting.

I hope I can get back on track objective wise. I feel I may have lost some of my fire. I don't think alcohol helps.

Yet again I am having doubts and fidelity doubts, oh I don't know

Brevity is the soul of wit

2011-03-12T00:02:00.001Z

Billy Shakespeare

I know what I have to do and it is the tough choice

Gotta go

You Can't Regret The Life You Didn't Lead

2011-03-09T07:45:00.002Z

I am not sure how long I am going to last. The Masterplan and objectives are the priority however I am not so sure.

What about the full SP??? Oh my giddy god what an interesting Kerfuffle and I am dead keen. Would not be left so frustrated, hell no always at it...

Oscar, ha ha ha funny

Brian... What a kerfuffle I am only sad about upsetting Brian as a friend. Everything else fuck it!

oh what to do, I am getting deeper and deeper. I HAVE TO DO THE RIGHT THING. I KNOW WHAT I HAVE TO DO

An End Has A Start

Objectives

2011-03-02T08:32:00.006Z

I do what I duz cuz

Short Term

Affiliate Site
Sitting in SEO
Citizenship

Mid Term

Consultant SEO/SEM
Affiliate
Computer Science/Design Science Masters
Japanese with a view

Long Term

Consultant SEO/SEM
Affiliate
Traveled/In Japan
Completed Masters
Ability to Develop Apps/PHP/Java/Flash etc

40 is the new 30

Nothing Worthwhile Comes Easy

Nothing Worthwhile Is Easy

2011-02-28T09:20:00.001Z

We will overcome

They Are Part of My Plan

2011-02-27T04:36:00.002Z

Yeah it is a bitch, as opposed to me being a part of their plan they are a part of my plan to be used until I have no more need for them.

If things happen to change then adjustments will be made. The ones who survive are the ones with the best capacity to adapt to change

Why do only fools and horses work?

It is all part of the marzipan

I Won't Be Fooled Again

2011-02-25T08:45:00.002Z

Whether that be at 'work' or through borrowing money - Cunts!

It is a struggle supporting the family however I am happy to do so. Reinforces the need to get cracking with the master plan and importantly keep my head.

I feel I have got such a long way to go

Why did I not apply myself more at Uni? Why did I not go to Bournemouth and study Information Systems? Coincidence or meant to be?

Excelling is key, working for the man is not for me

I'm still lost and running

From Little Things Big Things Grow

2011-02-18T10:58:00.002Z

Had a relapse last night and feel absolutely terrible however what I have also realised is I am making a massive effort and to change is tough and there will be relapses so I should not be too hard on myself.

Also a severe lack of sleep does not help

Crazy how it got started

The night is darker before the dawn

Today has been a tough day. I suppose every now and then you are going to have a tough day

The feeling of hero to zero is not a good one. That certainly is no fun

Should I stay or should I go

Interesting how things are panning out, I think I may have lost my passion however I wonder whether it would be rekindled somewhere else. I actually thing this is highly likely in the right role which encompasses both sides of the coin.

In addition you would be feeling the kwan

Festival tomorrow

ah I need to go to bed

tomorrow is another day

That is not good

Surviving

2011-02-09T10:24:00.002Z

Gee Willerkers

What the funk. How I am getting through this I do not know. Injured and unhappy at work however on a positive note I am massively pushing on with the master plan.

There seems so much to do however I hope to be able to progress slowly but surely.

Today I feel good about the plan. Why work hard for the man???

Reading the Great Crash which is enjoyable and opened my eyes to the world of government finance. It seems even governments can't manage money effectively. What hope for the rest of us??

England essentially loaned too much money to ze Germans after world war 1. The Germans struggled to pay the debt back and so were defaulting on the loan. The defaulting I do not have too much of a problem with. Not ideal however none the less a pain in the ass. The problem I have is men, English men were dieing fighting that war and for what, as soon as the conflict finishes the government can't wait to help them rebuild with loans at a profit for the government. Unbelievable.

My advise, only spend what you have. Be a borrower nor a lender be

4,000 Miles

2011-02-03T11:19:00.000Z

The Only thing consistent is change

The Big Payback

2011-01-24T08:37:00.002Z

Something has to give

listed below are the commitments

Sport
Girlfriend
The Big Payback/Masterplan
9-5
Family Commitments

Right now I really want to cut out booze and do exactly what I want to do when I want to do it. My idea of fun is working on the big payback/masterplan

I am scared, scared of the big payback scared that something won't work however I do have butterflies. I also feel now is perfect timing. I also really want to do it. I know I have a tough conversation to have however it needs to be done.

I can't carry on like this. I am impatient and so keen to get started. Something was always going to give.

Objectives, goals etc remain intact from posts at the start of the year however things have certainly progressed faster than I would have ever thought.

$2m the first mill in the bank as security the second mill for a home and car. Let's make the first mill spread between 4 bank accounts. Especially in the banking sector at the moment and generally. You can never trust those bastards

It is the way, it feels right surely it is the way. I also need my money for investment not pissed or shat up the wall on booze. It is no good for me and what I want to achieve.

I must mail the doc, it was cool to see the Doc and everyone over Chrimbo. I feel now that my friends from home mold into my family as well. I have other friends however they are not quite like the friends you went to school with.

I must also message Sinton, he will probably give me some shit however I must message home. Shame about the weather and the car when I was back in the UK.

I hope I have enough money coming in to support the family where required. I think I will be alright I just have to do the right thing and continue to do the right thing. I can definitely feel the final forming of my character shaping.

What about the German and $40m, fuck if I only make a fraction of that I have made more than enough.

This is my tale my time, I am excited. I have to make a few life adjustments however I am so excited about the future and what it may hold.

It is all part of the game, funny how you can't even trust banks nowadays.

No matter where we are we are a result of where we have come from. Nothing can change that

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

2011-01-19T12:01:00.001Z

Is the Fed Express heading out?

Masterplan

2011-01-17T07:55:00.003Z

Stay where you are learn SEO, do the web design day courses at Sydney Uni. Begin affiliate programme and consult on SEO, SEM. See where this takes you

Client Side, may be dry. Another agency out of the frying pan into the fire and the possibility of hard work. Both entail working for the man.

Living the right way is awesome, so far so good and yes I am tempted...

Ashes to Ashes

2011-01-04T23:25:00.002Z

Well the new year has started with a bang to say the least, promotions although expected undeserved however that is the nature of the beast I have to deal with.

In all fairness nothing surprises me anymore. I need to get over the shock and re focus on the master plan. It won't be long now my friend.

I hope dad is OK. I think Old House Road may be the way however the challenge is to convince him of the move again.

Hopefully he will be keen on the move if there is no effort required from him as I feel it will be tough. He doesn't and shouldn't have to live where he currently lives. In my opinion he deserves more than that.

I hope I have the strength to get through this period as it seems quite tough at the moment however I am made of sterner stuff :-)

2011

2011-01-01T00:14:00.001Z

So here it is, feels exactly like 2010 15 minutes ago.

I have to focus so I can earn as much wonga as possible and invest it wisely

Heaven on earth

Pokemon World

2010-12-31T23:26:00.002Z

I think it is time to fly

Make a life for myself down under. It has taken me to this point to realise what my mum was trying to tell me. I have to make a life for myself

I think if there are no medical scares or emergencies of some sort I will not come back for Chrimbo next year.

If I do I would come back on the morning of the 25th then head on the 2nd. As little time as possible. I think to an extent all families are psychotic. As an individual all you can do is try to create as nice a life as you can for yourself while still doing the right thing by your family.

All families are psychotic and you can't spend your life trying to solve all of your families problems. All you can do is live your life and offer support where required.

I think I have seen from previous posts what I need to do

Yes being born on the date I was the relationship element of my character is not as strong as the business work element. However as opposed to seeing this as a deficit and accepting it as it is I am best of seeing it as a characteristic and working extra hard to reduce this element of my character

It was very good to see Nat yesterday. Nat seems a lot happier and less distracted than last year which is good.

I must phone dad once a week and Sister every fortnight

I am happy I won't be coming back. Maybe it is time for me to form the final piece of my character and become the man I was born to be.

You know what you have to do. You have enough from the years on here and life experience. In all seriousness what is the worse that can happen and what if anything could you regret?

The old school Garage Tunes are good.

Time for a look back over 2010

Asta La Vista Baby

An irreverent look back at the year, from the Chilean miners to the general election.

2010-12-29T17:30:00.002Z

Royal

WTF

I swear it is worse now than when I was growing up. I have previously always defended it however now I am not so sure.

Jeez I think the coke has taken affect generally which makes things worse what has happened to our shit town

Your true measure is determined by what you do when no one is watching

2010-12-26T21:53:00.001Z

There is no fate but what we make

2010-12-26T21:50:00.001Z

Make a house a home

2010-12-20T10:51:00.001Z

It is the tiniest choices you make in life that can add up to the biggest changes

Repel All Boarders

2010-12-19T04:41:00.000Z

Stoned Free

Mince Pies, Brilliant I love my dad!

New Year New

We have one thing to fear, and that is fear itself

2010-12-18T09:49:00.001Z

Hong Kong

2010-12-15T00:36:00.000Z

It is often what you don't do rather than what you do that counts

2010-12-15T00:22:00.003Z

Warnie

2010-12-02T10:49:00.002Z

Same thing each December

The professional aspect has been completed however the personal aspect has not. Has improved however not completely eradicated. I would love to be able to achieve the objectives set out last month

Blue
Crawl
Citizenship
SEO
Web Design
Tough Decisions
Moving on Up
Savings for a new car or deposit

the personal stuff previously hasn't happened however the professional stuff has been achieved in previous years.

Right now I am struggling and not feeling great, the reason is I have been caining the blue and the grog.

I have to start on the objectives before the new year. Maybe midnight tonight or before I head home and put an end to 2010

2011 bring it!

The things I achieve and I struggle to get through something relatively simple. It is tough however is it really???

Character is Destiny

It is up to you

You know the difference between right and wrong, your parents taught you well

Remember the KV feeling??? heart pumping and happy

nothing wrong with a tug, nothing wrong with it

You know everything you need to know, what you must now do is implement it

Do the locomotion

To infinity and beyond

2010-11-30T11:05:00.002Z

Citizenship
SEO
Web Design
It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all
Move On Up career wise either SEO or New Company
4wd or home deposit
The Masterplan

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all

2010-11-30T10:58:00.003Z

No Blue
No Crawl
Tough Honest Decisions

That is all you have to do...

Ironically I would rather face this challenge than the challenges I have previously faced

500 Days of Summer

2010-11-30T10:52:00.003Z

I know what I have to do and how I must behave

If I am honest coming to the end of the year is a good thing. I look forward to next year.

Love & Work according to Freud

I started late so I am going to play late

2010-11-30T06:10:00.002Z

oh what to do. I think the decision has to be made based on what I feel as opposed to leaving something to chance.

The right thing to do is maybe make the tough decision and not crawl. That is the right thing to do for you

To Dare is to do!

Coincidence - that is all it is

If is the middle word in life

Character Is Destiny

2010-11-03T10:57:00.001Z

Big Jet Plane

2010-10-29T09:06:00.002Z

Angus & Julia Stone

I had the blues but I shook them loose

No crawling or blue

almost there brother

then what will I chat about?

Looking forward to going home at Chrimbo

Looking forward to the ashes

Golf weekend tomorrow

surf in the morning

life is tough :-)

Freedom!!

2010-10-16T01:34:00.001Z

Debt Free and PR

However I do not feel massively excited

The Blue and the Crawl have to go otherwise you slip into a bad way, embrace the positive feeling from KV

Heart beating and feeling good as doing the right thing.

Wish You Well

2010-10-04T12:01:00.002Z

Just say no

to blue and crawling and your personal life will be a breeze, it will also positively affect you professional life weed must remain out.

Three things to keep maintain are out

Blue
Crawling
Pot

In addition be strong with girls and unfortunately you have to make some hard decisions. Decisions based on deep thought, being truly honest with yourself and sincere

Yesterday's Gone

Debt Free and Decisions

2010-10-04T06:46:00.002Z

HSBC - Gone
Credit Card - Gone
Grad Loan - Gone
Natwest - Gone

Student loans to go in the next few days

Two objectives in one year, done

Touching, interesting not a nice feeling afterwards, not quite sure what to do with myself. Were things going well because I was doing the right thing??

I am at it now...

Oh what to do I would like to have an idea of what to do. I know what I would like to do. I wonder whether I am restricting myself and being hard on myself unnecessarily or whether the restriction is something which I should do for the greater good, the greater good.

If I am honest I just don't know. However looking at what has happened over the last month or so maybe that is the answer I am looking for?

What to do about the frustration, have confidence and belief in myself maybe, probably..

I think unfortunately or fortunately I am going to have to continue along the righteous path regardless of what happens when Kel is back.

No blue or crawling

Nothing Compares

2010-09-29T13:08:00.002Z

Feel a little blue today

Not sure why, a very odd day, I have a feeling it could be one of those days. I thought I would get at least a mention in the leaving speech. Maybe because I sat at the other end. Have to remember young as well.

Yeltsin & Anita WTF It would be a good place to stay however Kel is right. I have to get out of there just because of the way it makes me feel.

Fucking hate it

A little tired of working with and alongside incompetence generally. To be fair I like the people however some people OMG.

I think the people I work with are cool however it is more the environment and the conversations we have externally, cest la vie

I am going to bed as tired and emotional, have the urge ...

Oh My God

2010-09-25T03:54:00.002Z

Don't believe in the system

Checkmate

2010-09-24T09:46:00.002Z

Bonus in the bank which pays off all of my remaining debts
check

PR
check

Updated CV
check

Get this career back on track
check

Payrise
check

Yeltsin is a cunt
checkmate

The question now is where to go?

Not crawling or skulking is tough, it is for the best however it is killing me, remember every action has a reaction.

I think I am doing the right thing to make deposits to the karma bank. I want good things for me by doing the right thing. Is this selfish? Maybe however it seems it must be done and I suspect most people do it either consciously or subconsciously

I am gagging

I think I will make it through tonight however I can't vouch for Saturday night, this better be worth it however I have the feeling it will be.

With PR and debt free I feel like I did when I first went to Uni, with the whole world in front of me. This time in full working order, woohoo!

It seems everyone is becoming a dad which is cool however my thoughts are I am happy for them however my thoughts are if only I was working back then, however looking on the brightside I am working now, I have to ensure I am doing the right thing now and forever

To infinity and beyond

Hot Sex

2010-09-20T11:29:00.002Z

Oh what to do

Kel has gone away for 3 weeks. I feel I need to decide on what to do by the time Kel is back. Currently I feel like crawling and going nuts however ironically that does not feel like the right thing to do.

What I should do is keep my head down and crack on, by the end of the three weeks I would know what to do.

The important thing to bear in mind is that every action has a reaction which is not necessarily what you would expect. This goes for both positive actions as well as negative actions

If

2010-09-05T08:15:00.000Z

Give me the strength to change the things I can change and the wisdom to accept the things I can't change

2010-08-31T11:02:00.003Z

Last day of winter today - 9 months of sunshine through spring summer and autumn. This is by far the best time, the anticipation

Club tropicana drinks are free

Yes I have to find my own way and my time will come one day. Maybe I should keep on moving. I was prepped and ready to finish however the coins told me not to. I don't get it...

Sometimes maybe we don't know what is best for us. This is where a guardian angel comes in handy.

I keep looking at other girls and thinking oh yeah. I must remember my history. Also I am not using v and things are great, I never thought I would get to this stage. If I am honest I don't know what to do. I had the opportunity to back out and the coins said no. Maybe they want me to wait until the mullah comes in, I don't know.

I really don't know. My thoughts are I don't want long long term so don't want to mess anyone around. Long long term is a number of years which could include an important time in life.

This all seems a little stressful. I have flicked the coin and the decision has been made however watch this space. Sunday was good, interesting.

We shall see

Last day of winter, what will summer and the next 9 months bring...

Everyman Must Have A Code

2010-08-28T04:41:00.001Z

PR

2010-08-26T09:00:00.002Z

I finally have my PR

thank Crunchie for that!

Now it is a case of next steps. Moving on from here

The next episode

Insanity

2010-08-19T15:29:00.001Z

There are tough challenges ahead. More important than sweating the small stuff at work. What you do and the actions you take over the coming weeks, months and years will shape the rest of your days?

Can you handle it?

The Pebbles on the Beach

Alice in wonderland

2010-08-19T14:50:00.003Z

So as opposed to meeting a woman and not being treated well by her I am looking at the alternative. Meeting a woman and not being completely attracted to her. As opposed to doing the right thing and ending things early letting things continue on.

Doing the right thing is not always easy

Either or is a cop out

We can't live without friends, but we don't have to be friends with everyone. Be selective!

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced." _James Baldwin

I like this girl HS

To Be Or Not To Be

2010-08-15T09:19:00.002Z

I have a girlfriend however unfortunately I am watching way too much blue.

My thought process has been along the lines of finishing with my girlfriend and night crawling, enjoying the ability to perform and getting this out of my system, sowing oats.

This would also enable me to have total control of my life, spending and alcohol intake.

Am I settling??

I don't know. I like Kel in everyway. She is great to be with kind considerate everything you would want in a girlfriend, I also enjoy the sex with Kel. My only reservation is I look at other girls. I also do not think I am physically attracted to her 100% of the time however this sometimes changes, this is my only reservation.

Does it matter? For all of the pluses does it matter. I also have to bear in mind my history?? I do not know

Then there is vanity

To dare is to do